get link Carlson explains that life is not your enemy, but your thinking can be. If you are like most of the people, you probably believe that your life is just a series of misfortunate events interspersed with brief periods of happiness — and not the other way around. You are born and created to be happy, filled with inner peace, satisfaction, curiosity, affection, and feelings of gratitude for the ones you love and are loved by. However, you spend a large part of your life learning and acquiring behaviors and habits which hinder your chance at happiness.
It is a storage vault for information and past experience, and is also a transmitter for wisdom and common sense. It is our transmitter mind, not our computer mind, that is the source of our contentment, joy, and wisdom. You can already sense the problem: computers are not only impractical but virtually useless if you want to find an answer to some of the biggest questions in life.
So, to sum up, your mind can either work for or against you; the computer part is helpful in many cases, but it is unwise to use it in all situations and circumstances. Reaching it will make your life less complicated and your problems more trivial, allowing you to be more lighthearted and easygoing.
And the best way to do this is to begin understanding your transmitter mind, the source of these deep, positive feelings. The present moment is where we find happiness and inner peace. The Principle of Thought 2. The Principle of Moods 3. The Principle of Separate Realities 4. The Principle of Feelings 5. The Principle of the Present Moment. According to Carlson, be it positive or negative, most of our feelings are a direct consequence of our modes of thinking.
It may seem strange to grasp such a notion, but think of it this way: the same event may affect ten different people in at least as many different ways. Because each of them experiences these events within himself or herself in a different manner; the difference, naturally, stems from the ways our minds filter and analyze them. Thinking is a voluntary process, meaning, as a famous German song says, the thoughts are free.
Depressive people allow their negative thoughts to imprison them , unaware of the fact that they are the ones who produce them and can, consequently, outlaw them. Your thoughts are your own, but they are not what makes you; you can control them and change them at will. In fact, this is what gives us such a variety among people: some are calm, others angry, yet a third group disinterested. In a high mood, relationships flow easily and communication is easy and graceful. In low moods, life looks unbearably serious and hard.
Apr 14, Kellie rated it it was amazing. I really like this book. The author does a great job explaining that thoughts are always passing through your mind and that you choose whether to let negative thoughts affect your mood or let them pass as just thoughts. I am able to recognize that thoughts are not reality and not dwell on those thoughts that are deserving of attention. Oct 17, Colleen Mcgunnigle rated it it was amazing.
I've listened to this book-on-audio multiple times.
He shares wisdom about how to not take the things people do so hard, which had tended to be a challenge of mine. I wish he were still around cuz I'd hug him! This was a life changer for me. View 1 comment. This is another book I read earlier this year and didn't get around to reviewing. It is the kind of book that I generally wouldn't think to pick up and read and I feared it might be a little corny or simplistic or something.
It was a quick read, though, and while I didn't agree with every word there was enough good that I got out of it that I was really glad I read it and may read it again sometime to refresh those ideas. I can no longer remember what I may have disagreed with, but I do know it This is another book I read earlier this year and didn't get around to reviewing. I can no longer remember what I may have disagreed with, but I do know it helped me in a positive way while reading it and it really did make me feel happier and change my thinking about certain things.
I'll quote part of a blog post I wrote after reading it that describes some of the ways it helped me. I guess I never totally understood what people meant by "being present," but I'm kind of getting it now. It doesn't mean forgetting the past or ignoring the future, but now I see it as just realizing that the only thing I can control right now is the present. I can't change the past. I can't do much about the future other than the effect from choices I make right now, in the present.
I definitely have a tendency to overanalyze and overthink things, but I realized that often it doesn't do me any good at all, and can paralyze me from doing anything. Dwelling on past mistakes, bad habits, guilt, and so on does so much harm. I'm not talking about serious things, just the guilt of not being a better mom, not doing everything I should be, those kind of things. I can't change anything I have done or failed to do in the past, so my new motto is "What is the best thing I can do right now?
With painting Josh's room, for example, I refused to let myself think about the past, all the times that painting projects have gotten stalled and taken me forever to finish, or to think too much about the future, as in "this is going to be hard, I'll have to do all that prep work and clean up and I'll get tired and sore" or things like that. I just took it one step at a time. Right now I'm going to find the paint and my supplies in the garage. Right now I'm going to wash the walls. Right now I'm going to do the taping. And so on. This also helped me with Gabe's track meet. I was just going to drop him off and pick him up when it was done, but when we got there he was uneasy about everything.
It wasn't a normal track meet. There were a lot more people than usual. He wasn't sure how to sign up for his race. Even though we had driven about a half hour to get there, he wanted to just go home since this wasn't a required meet. My first reaction might have just been to take him home and not bother with it. My question, "What's the best thing I can do right now? His race wasn't for over an hour, but I sat in the bleachers and watched that mass of humanity out there stretching, warming up with funny exercises, running, jumping, flying through the air using pole vaults, and I thought about all the energy and motivation of those kids and how great that they all chose to be there doing something so healthy and positive.
I enjoyed the cool breeze and spring weather. Instead of thinking about what else I could be doing or feeling restless, I knew that this was the best thing I could be doing.
I was "being present" and just enjoying the moment in a relaxed way. Everything turned out fine and Gabe did well in his event, the meter race. I know my reactions were a lot different than they would have been if I hadn't been focused on just making that space in time the best that it could be.
So there you go. Any book that has a positive effect on me like that is definitely a good thing! This book differed in opinion from a lot of books I have read on the subject of Positive Psychology and Law of Attraction, however, I believed it gave me a fresh new perspective of how I view my thoughts, both positive and negative.
In this book, the author explains that our thoughts and moods are constantly changing, and rather than trying to always control our thoughts, sometimes it is best to simply wait until our thoughts return to their positive state. This is different from many books I ha This book differed in opinion from a lot of books I have read on the subject of Positive Psychology and Law of Attraction, however, I believed it gave me a fresh new perspective of how I view my thoughts, both positive and negative. This is different from many books I have read on the subject, in which the authors argue that one should try to maintain positive thoughts and moods at all times.
I personally find it tiring and exhausting sometimes trying to maintain a positive attitude constantly. The technique described in You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective is to simply acknowledge when you are in a negative mood, and not to take things to seriously when in this state of mind.
Just try to gently nudge your thoughts back to a positive state, and don't make any rash decisions during this negative mood. Another great concept explained in this books is the concept that everyone is surrounded by their own world of thoughts. When someone is rude to you, we often forget that this person could be in a negative mood, and their words and attitudes towards you actually has nothing to do with you. Given time they could actually come back and apologize, once they realize they were letting their emotions and moods govern them.
Great book, I can see myself reading this several times to absorb all of the concepts fully. This book helped me through a very hard time in my life. The writer explained that based on five principles of Thought, Mood, Separate Realities, Feelings, and the Present Moment, and how the reader can use these principles to discover how to focus on everyday joy and inner contentment.
The book helped me not to be lead around by my own feelings by introducing me to the idea of separate realities. This book helps give e This book helped me through a very hard time in my life. This book helps give examples of how to avoid negative thoughts. It shows why they are not even necessary in so many situations because the situation you may think negatively about exists to nobody but you. People see the same situation in different ways and understanding this helps you to have a broader sense of what is happening. Or possibly realize they have NO idea what the other people involved are thinking or where they are coming from.
Basically no 2 people can see things the exact same way because we each have our own history or background baggage. It is useful for anyone to consider this when dealing with others on a daily basis. I loved the book and the thoughts and ideas helped me through a very stressful time in my life ten years ago. I have held on to the book because I feel that it is one to be read over and again. Summary: negative thinking is bad. As a positive and often thinking person, I immediately disagreed with this book. The author seems to be reaching out to a society of neurotics, who when thinking about things will only spiral into a chain of negative thoughts.
He seemingly reaches the conclusion that thinking during your low point will lead to nothing but negative thoughts, and that here is no way a person can pull themselves out of a funk by thinking. This is horribl Summary: negative thinking is bad. This is horribly dangerous and wrong thinking. It is absolutely possible and quite often required to suck it up in order to get themselves out of an emotional chasm.
According to the book, negative experiences and feeling are to be avoided at all costs. This book completely devoids one of the proper way to handle negative experiences. It teaches one to run away from everything as oppose to rationally thinking about things. The path this book seems to be advising is one of blissful mediocrity, one of no ambition, no problems, but no life.
Stress is seen as something negative, as opposed to a possible growing experience. There are some good points in this book. Thinking during a low point is less likely to solve your problems then during a high point. Needless negative thinking doesn't help anything. The bad far outweighs the good though. The book has good intentions, but is utterly useless if not harmful in confronting real-life problems; it is only good at teaching one to run from one's problems, hoping they'll go away. This book isn't another "think happy, be happy" book.
Instead, Richard Carlson teaches how to have healthy psychological functioning in a very simple style. He details what it is, what derails it, and how to obtain it through understanding the mental process and learning to let go of thoughts mindfulness. This book should be required reading every school year beginning in junior high.
Companies should hold annual workshops teaching it's philosophy. People would understand how to handle their em This book isn't another "think happy, be happy" book. People would understand how to handle their emotions and thoughts and the world really would be a better place. A book that can help you see life differently.
Part One was absolutely amazing, but part two was a struggle for me. I was flying through this until I hit part two which took me several months to finally get through. Favorite Passages: Many people mistakenly believe that circumstances make a person. They don't. Instead, they reveal him or her. Our circumstances don't define us; they represent our unique c A book that can help you see life differently.
Of course only years later after having given up and getting in some serious trouble did it come to me by itself in it's own sweet time of course. Please read his book, it will change your life. Very easy to listen to. My own book Freedom of the Peaceful Warrior. I feel that I need to take time out to re-focus.
Our circumstances don't define us; they represent our unique curriculum - our tests, challenges, and opportunities for personal growth, acceptance, and detachment. No one is getting up in the morning with the intent of ruining your life except perhaps some very disturbed people. Because our thinking and moods are unique to each one of us, we each live in a separate reality.
Oct 04, Madhur Ahuja rated it it was amazing. Really good book. Also helpful if you are feeling some kind of stress. Explains basic concepts about happiness, depression, stress, thoughts and feelings. Jul 13, Shyamsundar Parthasarathy rated it it was amazing. The book gave me a whole new perspective about thoughts, mood and happiness. Some of the examples provided in the book are easily relatable to our day to day lives. And it is also a short read. After reading it, I feel positive about my life.
Looking forward to putting the suggestions in practice for a more happier life. A lot of what Carlson says in this book is common sense, an element that is often lacking in traditional types of therapy. Rather than dwelling upon and analyzing uncomfortable experiences from the past, he suggests focusing upon the immediate present. The book is short and each chapter is short. The message is simple—though implementation will take some practice. The author presents five principles that, when applied, shift a person towards happiness. In practice, a combination of these princip A lot of what Carlson says in this book is common sense, an element that is often lacking in traditional types of therapy.
The final chapters give examples of how to apply the principles to solve problems, reduce stress, address habits and addictions, and get along better with others. The five principles are thought, moods, feelings, separate realities, and the present moment. As individuals, we have the power to refocus our thinking.
Feelings, on the other hand, are more fleeting, and our barometer for assessing the state of our thoughts. Since all people are individuals, living in separate realities, this chapter gives some insight on not taking the actions of others personally, but instead truly accepting others—and ourselves. The present moment is not just the only time that we can take action, but the key to stopping obsession about the past and worry about the future.
Readers who like self-help books will enjoy this one. Anyone with an open mind who wants to be happier will find one or more of the principles valuable. The short text and simple methods can help anyone with an open mind, and those who already employ some of these principles will find validation and more ideas for increasing happiness.
Truly, this book is suitable for just about anyone. For many of us, happiness is a goal that we never seem to achieve. We closely examine our unhappiness and fret over all the issues in our lives.
We know in our hearts and our very souls that if we can just earn a little more money, deal with a childhood trauma, or get married that we'll finally be happy. Unfortunately, once we succeed in these endeavors, a whole new set of issues appears and we find ourselves still unhappy. Life doesn't stop just because we read a self help book or decide to wor For many of us, happiness is a goal that we never seem to achieve. Life doesn't stop just because we read a self help book or decide to work on our issues. There is no secret formula that magically absolves a person from facing the challenges that we all experience.
The ups and downs of everyday life will always be there. However, you can choose how you feel about yourself and your life. You can see problems as defining you as a failure or as a bad person or you can see them as merely a natural part of life. You can try to make your child act just the way you want or nag at your husband because he's not perfect or you can get some perspective and see that these little things aren't all that important in the scope of your love and happiness.
Like most human beings, when I'm in a low mood, the world seems darker and my problems more difficult. In the past, I thought that I had to solve these issues as they came up. As the author states though, real problems won't disappear when you are feeling more yourself. Little irritants that don't really matter will simply fall away. Then, you can work on your real problems and actually have a clear mind to do so. This book should be a required reading for everyone. It's practical, essential and reflective. To be more precise; this is self-help at it best.
Carlson did a marvelous job. What I find compelling about his writing is that he simplify and clarify with no dramatizing and always straight to the point. This is a life changing book when the five principles are understood and implied effectively into one's life. Many people mistakenly believe that circumstances make a person. Instead, This book should be a required reading for everyone. Our success as a human being does not lie in our collections of possessions or accomplishments.